I don't get this feeling at all, I just feel extremely mixed up. It'll randomly hit me and set me thinking...... what am I doing? I'm looking for things to go my way I want some things but then again I honestly am not sure of what I want. I'm tired of having to think these thoughts, having to worry about every thing, tired of having to try and be someone I used to be. I guess I'm tired. I know its something everyone says everyday and people call it whining but they don't know what is constantly going through my mind. No one knows and I just feel so frustrated I just want to end it all like I don't even know anymore? Weird thoughts pass through my mind everyday and I feel like I am one person that doesn't deserve to live. When I walk under flats sometimes I'll just will for the units to.....drop? When I cross roads I'll just want something to happen sometimes I desperately wish I can fall really really ill and maybe the lines defining reality will be blurred......I don't know. Then again I think of so many people out there in the world who deserve to live more than I do, but cannot and I feel guilty. In a heartbeat I will be willing to give them my life give them anything they want. I know of so many people hurting because of their loved ones and I think, why them and not me? After all, they definitely cherish life more than I do. They definitely deserve it more than I do. They don't do stupid things that screws their body up they don't set out to ruin everything. So definitely yeah, in a heartbeat I would be willing to trade. I have absolutely nothing to live for now there is no one or nobody I will miss leaving behind I just want to leave right now right this instant. Help
I need someone who can hear me out, someone who doesn't judge. Someone. Anyone?
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