GEEZ I AM SO TIRED OF STUDYING like omfg I know everyone says this all the time but the idea of having another year and a half of stu-dying left before I stu-die some more, KILLS ME I am not even kidding okay I admit I do enjoy studying it's relaxing (no i'm not being sarcastic) and the sense of accomplishment you get when you compete something? Undescribable. B U T why do they have to screw it aaaaaalll up and measure your 'smartness' with stupid unnecessary redundant exams and redundant unnecessary stupid tests? Totally makes the entire process so unfavorable and completely unenjoyable. Sigh can I please study for the knowledge. Like reading for instance I love reading I am a book nerd YES and I love finding bits and pieces of new information that's what learning is to me :( I even love writing essays about themes of life which is basically what we do in Lit but the whole idea of following a structure just totally limits my flow and I can't even properly get what I want to say out. Geddit? Like we're being graded on our knowledge that's fine but once we acquire it you wanna grade us on how we put it across? Damn that's some shitty business right there.

Don't ask me what I want to do in the future. The very thought makes me want to leap up with excitement but also because of all the social barriers and the expectation to conform, makes me want to cower right back into my seat, picking gingerly through all the brochures and pamphlets and ultimately choosing the path that's the s a f e s t O M F G I swear to God that that will not be me

A R G H BACK TO STUDYING NOW THEN YAY RECURRENCE

I WILL SURVIVE THIS SHIT JUST W A T C H

Okay this is it I'm 10000% determined right now only lean protein vegetables fruit dairy no refined grains no sugar no carbs no nothing. I've been off clean eating for about a week now and I feels absolute shit like tired and even more whiny haha probably cause I feel so guilty hahahaha

I solemnly swear to myself if I eat anything wrong it's coming out I'm purging it out I really don't care if it's unhealthy or anything I just want to be t h i n

hole in the middle of her heart

Some photos I managed to shoot, nothing much I know
Particularly liked the first one though

when can I go away and escape too?
 what do I want to run away from I have no idea either