hole in the middle of her heart

Some photos I managed to shoot, nothing much I know
Particularly liked the first one though

when can I go away and escape too?
 what do I want to run away from I have no idea either

Sapphire and Faded Jeans

Okay so it's been waaay too long since I blogged haha. Been too busy or rather, too lazy omg and every time I actually sit down blogging it'll be when I'm in tears haha so it's good that I'm actually blogging now cause I feel like it yay. Hmm so........... okay I know I'm supposed to come up with interesting things that happen to me I mean so that in years to come I can like look back and be all nostalgic and stuff but geeeez what do I have to talk about haha haven't gone out in ages because all my friends are too busy studying(life) maybe I should study too I haven't even really sat down this year to study properly sheesh.

I need to
- Go out more
- Find a study partner that will make me sit my ass down and actually s t u d y
-Attempt to fall asleep by midnight so that I won't look an absolute wreck in the morn
-Eat less
-Run more
-Spend more time on Tumblr
-Be wary
-Learn how to enjoy being alone





because that's all I ever feel these days
just want someone there to assure me I'm not

I am so fucking tired okay even if I do well now I feel like it is expected and that if I don't, I'm letting everyone down. And weary and tired, I look into a mirror and I feel like setting myself on fire. F u c k why do I look the way I am why am I so weak and tired all the time, so talentless so lifeless even if I did want to do something with my life I can't. And I don't think I'll ever be good enough and you'll never see me that way so that's it I guess I don't want to care anymore I just wanna curl up in a corner and never wake up. Honest.

Hurricane

Life has been pretty fricking tough recently or since the last time I blogged anyways. So much has happened but so much hasn't too. Makes sense? I don't know. Everyday I'm just drifting along I don't even have the drive to continue studying anymore, let's not talk about even going to school. No reason no motivation no nothing. During the March hols it was just an entire week of cancelled plans due to the J2s being busy with their MBTs and I felt like shit :( I didn't even want to head out to study because who can I study with? Certainly not the  J2s as I won't even be able to help them and I'll..... I don't know just be wasting their time. It feels not long ago when I was one of them too :( :( Why is it so fucking difficult why why w h y can't I get over it???






And to the anonymous comments I've been receiving lately, thanks for these small words of encouragement it really does make me feel a whole lot better even though I'm anything but strong and you're right I was so close to not being here anymore.

on a Saturday night

Alright so, I just attempted baking again and I left my kitchen a floury mess and I took a shower and now I'm bundled in a dark room just chilling. What better way to waste away an hour or so by completing Tumblr questionnaires? Leggo~

1. Meaning behind my URL.

Well there really isn't a meaning to hellyeahpinkacid. I've just had it forever haha

2. One of my insecurities.

One? Well okay I think I have small eyes

3. What turns me on.

Hands down, guys who smell good hahaha

4. One of my bad habits.

I tend to..... fall asleep in the most inappropriate places e.g. classrooms, lecture theaters, toilets.........

5. Who I wish I could be.
Effy Stonem.

6. Where I want to be right now.
Gold Coast, walking down towards Surfer's Paradise with a surfboard in tow and a really cute instructor hehehe

7. The last thing I ate.
Apple Strudel omg I know sinful

8. Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately.
okay omg I would say this guy from my school tho he isn't really but everyone's always saying that he is so.... y'know. But he's not hahahahahahahaaha. Okay la maybe a little.

9. What song I’m currently listening to.
Two Fingers - Jake Bugg

10. The last time I cried and why.
Yesterday when I was back in CCHMs. Saw my old math teacher and even though he was really nice about it, I could feel his disappointment and I couldn't stand it. Btw I didn't c r y I teared haha 

11. Something I’m excited about.
15TH MARCH F U N . 

12. 5 things I like about myself and 5 things I dislike about myself.
I like that I'm into literature and indie stuffs because it's something I can actually find solace in. I like that I'm becoming more openminded. I like....... my hair. Sometimes. And I like that I have that ability to make such great friends. Oh and I like my Tumblr whoo.
I hate that I'm so darn lazy, I hate that I'm so weak and easy now. I hate that I care and I hate not being able to let go. I hate not being petite. I hate how much easier it was coming up with these 5 points than the previous 5

13. Three things I want right now.
Hot tea, more blankets and for you to be here next to me (clichéd I know)

14. Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you, where’s it from?
Not currently but I was wearing this shark tooth one earlier on! Got it for myself and I absolutely love it cause it was from Auzzieee

15. How long was your last phone conversation?
A few seconds when my mum called and I was in Topshop's changing room hahaha. Imagine my horror and embarrassment when my phone suddenly went "HI WE'RE ONE DIRECTION". Okay I know that's real dorky don't judge. 

16. What are you looking forward to?
Going out with the family for brunch tomorrow yay

17. Did you get anything off your chest today?
Nah

18. How many rings do you usually wear?
1?

19. Would you rather go to Canada or California on vacation?
California! I'm so so much more of a Cali girl omg the sun sand and the summer

20. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants or pajama pants?
Joggers! They're so comfy whoo

21. Do you call it fall or autumn?
Autumn. Although over here in Singapore it's just...... meh.

22. Are you an emotional person?
Oh hahaha you don't know the half of it

23. It’s 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely from?
It could be from anyone! None of us are really the sleep-before-midnight kinds

24. Do you like long car rides?
Totally! Love them.

25. Do you have an adult you can talk to about anything?
Nope

26. Last time you saw your dad?
Uhm....5 days ago?

27. Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
Don't think so hahaha.

28. Do you do your own laundry?
Nah

29. Would you like the ability to read minds?
Not really

30. Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?
Yeah

31. You’re thinking about a certain person right now, aren’t you?
Yeah

32. What will you be doing in five years?
Refer to this hahaha

34. Last 2 people to text you?
Maxine and Nicole!

35. Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?
Kinda? Well okay I have bigdreamswayupthere career, my hmmokayIcouldstillenjoydoingthis idea and my damnthingsdidntworkoutsothisismyfallbackplan.

36. Do you like to cuddle?
Yessssss hehe come over we can watch movies and drink cocoa and fall asleep together 

37. When angry, do you get loud or quiet?
It really depends. If you pissed me off because you were being a bitch then ohhoh watch out

38. Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed on the lips?
Nope

39. Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex?
YES! :)

40. How’s your hair right now?
Up in a messy bun hahaha

Alright that's about it but omg I'm so tired I guess you can tell from my answers towards the end haha. Oh maaan it's really cold and my fingers are really numb and I just wanna fall asleep right now but I also really wanna Tumblr so yeah I shall do that while listening to the most amazing new indie playlist I found on 8tracks it's so amaze balls okay waitI I'm rambling on again bye guys love you xxx

Up on a Hill across the Blue lake

 This shall be the randomest post ever on two really random periods of my life

 Exco dinner after promos when I completed my last lit paper. Was so happy then

 Trip to Genting with the couz and we had so much 'us' time, it was good too.
Note how I didn't use to have braces and I didn't use to look weird sigh. So self conscious now whenever I'm smiling for photos :'(

Anywayz today was a rather.... hard day. Keep hitting me how I was no longer in 12S501. I know I sound like a weenie and I should stop complaining haha dayum I freaking wish I could. I even teared up in Econs lecture like wtf get some spunk Zoee you spineless jellyfish psh

How we'd survive

Out with TCG a fortnight ago! Haha we were quite lame and kinda failed in our first attempt of making a cover but at least we had fun! Hopefully the future outings would be more successful and hopefully my mic arrives soon and I wasn't ripped off.

School hasn't been bad. I actually imagined it worse but thank god for Alif and a few others whom I can actually click with. It would have been easier but at least half of the class is from China and I am absolutely hopeless with Chinese. Meh.
At times it gets difficult. Actually start missing my classmates and the OGLs and everyone else it hurts so bad :( Not to the extent of me breaking down again, no, but it still really sucks. Why do I feel like I'm running out of time? It's like every moment spent with Kristle or Cheryl or the OGLs feels so......... precious because I
m not going to be able to see them again? I have no idea haha sigh. Hope everything gets better!

And I get to see you around once a day and I know I should be content with that I really do but........... it's never enough