Sugar and a razorblade

Don't we all wish for more

I wish I was more original and brilliant and kinder and nicer and everyday I'm working on it. Or at least try some days are conscious nulls and then life revolves around seeing how much I can really stuff myself with food and then regret afterwards (haha) 

I wish I can step back and see the bigger picture of everything 

Oh and I didn't manage to get the MTV VJ gig haha. I was kinda crushed but  thoroughly believe there will be other chances and I will try my best. I've been told before that I have a weak mind and I'm trying so desperately to change that about myself. Baby steps. And I suppose everything stems from self-love eh haha

Well, 96 days to the big one. And I'm now drawing a mental picture of me pushing myself with my arms closed and heels dug deep hahaha come on Zoee!!!!!!

x,

Z

Tiny update

I've come to the conclusion that it's humanly impossible to look good in school because y'know the theory look good feel good? Feeling like sh*t in school just negates whatever 'look good' factor you can ultimately possess

It's okay I just gotta stick it for 3 more months and I can finally start making some actions to my life and embarking on more projects. Hehe

In the meantime I thank the stars everyday for my friends. They cool iz cool 

 

x,

Z

Maybe if I was prettier
smarter
more matured
more confident
less insecure
skinnier
less vulnerable
more ready
prettier
more collected

better

rest your bones

 BKK has the best food ever 

 Never ending fascination with lights 

 "Hey look I'm in Sydney hahaha"

 (maybe one day I''ll finally be brave enough one day one day)

Terribly sorry for the crazy hiatus haha school has kept me pretty busy and MBTs were an absolute nightmare. In the meantime though I'm forever crazy grateful for everyone that keeps me going haha my friend for taking in all my whining, for whining with me and all the matured wise smartass advice they tend to heap upon me hehe gotta love them for it, really

Sometimes though I just find myself thinking so hard and realize that I'm losing myself to the future and the past. Gotta stop dwelling and fretting haha wish things were easier but then if they were, what am I gonna gain from everything huh. I'll take things as they come and push on


till then,
x

Today, an acquaintance of mine passed away. I wish I could say that he was my friend but we never really talked in school. However, this guy is an amazing amazing person and in the brief time I got to interact with him, I realized that.

Was 2012 and it was on the first day of school where we were all in our secondary school uniforms. K X and I were at Popular and me being the klutz that I am, accidentally dropped my then new Blackberry into the back of the shelf. Now if you've been to Popular you'll know that their shelves are like friggin stuck back to back and basically impossible to take apart. I was totally panicking and then 2 VS guys came, him and his friend. They saw what happened and offered to help take the books down so I could retrieve my phone. At that point they had no idea we were from MJ and neither did we them. So like we were struck by this random act of kindness and we started talking and found out that hey cool same school. The staff then came to help unscrew the shelves and all and I remember telling them that hey you guys can leave thanks for helping but they stayed to help us rearrange the books and they stayed with us for freaking.......two hours.

This random act of compassion

I can't get over it and I barely knew him, only knew him enough to know of his compassion and perseverance. Simply cannot fathom how his loved ones are feeling and I'm am honestly so so sorry. I do not really know what to say, just.......

Mustaqim, rest in peace. I know that you're in a better place now and I'm so sorry I never took the effort to know you better while I had the chance to. your willingness to help a complete stranger and your determination in life regardless.......... an inspiration and do know that you will be missed

RIP

Dizzy hurricane

 chopped off my hair

 happy pills

innocence x b&w

random shots over the weeks

 School is honestly such a drag but I'm trying this thing where I don't whine as much and to smile more and my friends are the only ones keeping me sane now. Eternally grateful

life is good when you can put on pretty things and wear nice stuffs
and go out
and have fun
with fun people


life isn't so good when you're stuck in a mundane rut
when you're terrified
and you have to sacrifice 
to avoid a repeat of the past 

hopefully the next post I do will have prettier pictures depicting a more exciting life haha I'm sorry if this one has been a filler. Thanks guys for still visiting this space and clicking on the ad I love y'all!

xx Z

1/365

Pretty sure you can see my fascination with lights... am I rapunzel yet ha ha

happy pills

Welcomed the new year with great company, good coffee and productivity (kinda). Hopefully, the rest of 2014 will be as blissful as tonight has been.

Can't wait to see my girls (and amacam hehe) tomorrow. Gonna make full use of the time left :)


This year I will continue to be stronger

xx